Your Toddler: Solving Problems and Forming a Sense of Self

An eventful year

Probably more happens during the first half of your baby's second year of life than at any other time, yet typically it is the most overlooked period of her development. Many parents eagerly greet their baby's first kisses and hugs and later on celebrate their toddler's lisping phrases and sentences, yet inadvertently miss a less flamboyant, but equally impressive, developmental achievement that's underway.

Your two-way communicator, who by this time may already enjoy playing peekaboo and funny-face games, is now starting to figure out how to solve problems. She's learning, for example, how to scrunch her face into a silly expression to get your attention when she's in the mood for some fun. She knows how to turn in your direction while motioning toward the refrigerator, urging you to fetch some juice. She may utter a string of pleading sounds that summon you to the playroom, and point toward a toy that's too high up on the shelf for her to reach by herself.

Your child is becoming a problem solver in many areas of her life. She now has ways to get what she wants (a bottle of juice or hard-to-reach toys), to figure out how the physical world works (and pinpoint where Mommy is when she's in an adjacent room, or where a toy is when it's hidden under the rug), and to have fun, too. She is starting to demonstrate an original sense of humor! As the two of you exchange silly hats and put them on each other's heads, she may suddenly pluck one off your head and put it on her foot. Although she's never seen you do this before, your little girl may chuckle with delight because she's come up with a new angle on where to wear her hat. Your child is becoming aware that all of her different needs, interests, original behaviors, and the various parts of her body are merging into an integrated "me," or whole person. A true sense of self is starting to form.

We'll be discussing how your budding problem solver is mastering all kinds of emotional and intellectual lessons during this stage of her development. You may not have focused on these other emerging abilities because during her first year of life you've probably been preoccupied with your baby's happiness, as you should be. You surely were captivated by her ability to share hugs, kisses, and funny faces with you. When she eventually utters a few words, it is such a thrilling achievement that it is easy to overlook the fact that your baby is already communicating in complex ways and figuring out how things fit together in terms of patterns. She is mastering a type of preverbal communication and learning that will provide an essential foundation for her words, thoughts, intelligence, and social skills.

Because so many positive things—ranging from scientific problem solving to developing a more cohesive sense of self-normally unfold during these months, their failure to emerge is the first detectable sign of many types of problems. Through our research and clinical observations of many toddlers' behaviors during this stage, we're now able to identify children with severe language problems, learning disabilities, and autistic-type symptoms long before we could expect them to try to use spoken words with any fluency. For instance, we have found that an 18-month-old toddler's inability to take engage in complex problem solving—say, to take someone by the hand and walk him or her to the refrigerator in search of a favorite food or to the toy chest to hunt for a favorite plaything—can be a warning signal. Thankfully, though, most toddlers exhibit a wealth of problem-solving behaviors. Their drive to explore the world keeps them on the go all day.

Most parents share their baby's intense excitement as she achieves the physical milestone of walking, usually sometime between 9 and 18 months. In fact, few sights are more endearing than watching a toddler take her bowlegged first few steps! However, in our excitement over the child's new ability to walk, we sometimes disregard an equally impressive developmental achievement that's also afoot. Our toddlers can walk meaningfully toward and away from things, and can take objects with them, too. Even before learning how to walk, your baby is busy figuring out how to get something she wants, or how to maneuver herself so she can see something interesting.

An ability to solve problems rests on the even more basic skill of seeing and deciphering patterns. It is the ability to understand patterns that lets a toddler know that if she takes two steps here and two steps there she'll be able to reach her favorite toy. She becomes a successful navigator not only because her muscles are coordinated, but also because her growing brain now enables her to understand patterns. Toddlers learn to recognize how one room leads to another, and where you are in relation to them. They can meaningfully explore the world long before they are able to express their wishes and thoughts in words.

More on: Babies and Toddlers