Parents have every right to make the case to their kids about the benefits and pleasure attached to activities that they want their kids to experience. They do not have the right to bribe, punish, or shame them into participating in activities that their kids do not wish to experience. Telling your kids that they will disappoint you if you don't participate in activities that you want them to take part in may lead them to believe that they are appreciated and loved only when they do what want them to do. That's a very dangerous message to send kids about conditional love and appreciation. Please do your best to discover why you have chosen to force your kids to participate in this particular program. Ask yourself not what's at stake for them if they don't participate in this music program; ask yourself what you lose if they don't participate because this is really about you, not them.
Father Forcing Extracurricular Participation
Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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